


Alternitaly

by Alternitalia (WoodleNoodle)



Category: Homestuck, ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Genre: Chatlogs, Co-Written, Crack Treated Seriously, Crossover, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, i really don't know?, there WILL be crossfandom crackships in future chapters, yacht party gone wrong (almost died) (not clickbait)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:08:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23192956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WoodleNoodle/pseuds/Alternitalia
Summary: Co-authored with my lovely friend Eliza.This is a Homestuck/JJBA:VA crossover fic. The concepts are complete crack but the fic itself is deadass.I don't know really what to say in terms of description? this will be edited at some point. All I have to say is, Fugo/Eridan will be a thing.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	1. Like a mermaid, but not.

It was May 20th. This is important, because it was also Narancia’s birthday- not that he will be the focus of this story just yet. It was warm and windy, and perfect for having an epic yacht party.

See, Narancia had been pretty hyped the last time they rented a boat. That is, until it got attacked by an enemy Stand user, but even then he wanted to make the most of it and do an absurd dance with Mista and Fugo (the latter of whom vehemently denies that ever happened). So, Buccellati saw it fit to rent a yacht for the boy’s eighteenth birthday.

So, with everyone dragged out of the house and the yacht rented, the gang members got onboard, unaware that they were being watched by something quite inhuman.

A vaguely humanoid creature with gray skin, bitter orange eyes, and deep purple blood. watched the gangstars from below the water’s surface. His eyebrows furrowed as he watched them curiously. This was one of his favorite things to do on a warm day like this. His best friend had warned him to not get too close to the docks- she didn’t want him to get run over by a boat, people would make a big deal out of it, he’d be the next Loch Ness monster, yadda yadda yadda. But who needs moirails when you’ve got cool humans that don’t even know you’re there? 

Not long after they left port, the gang was partying to the max. Most of everyone was playing in the water, or getting drunk off their ass, or both. But not Fugo.   
Fugo was sitting up on the top deck, minding his own business and reading a book which he found very interesting- a collection of classic Hans Christian Andersen fairytales. Unfortunately, that was not fucking happening on Narancia’s watch.

“Fugoooooo!” Narancia yelled, stumbling over to him. He may or may not have had some to drink, since he was now technically allowed to. Fugo greeted him with nothing but a grimace before looking back down to his book. That wasn’t satisfactory, so he tried again.  
“Pannaa-”

“Don’t call me that!” The boy hissed, glaring up at Narancia. “What do you want?”

“Well, we went all the way out here for a reason, didn’t we? Everyone else is in the water, it’ll be fun, just join us!”

“No,” Fugo deadpanned, looking back to his book. Unfortunately for him, Narancia wasn’t taking no for an answer, and shoved him off the boat in response. Even more unfortunately, he didn’t know how to swim.

Now, the creature had gotten a little too curious and ended up following the yacht. He was circling around it like a shark, carefully studying each gangstar that was on board. So, when one fell into the water, he was pleasantly surprised.

He was many things, but a lifeguard is not one of them. He had never even been this close to a human before. So when Fugo plummeted into the water, all he thought to do was catch him and then swim to the surface. Should have been good enough. 

But Fugo was freaking out, and for a few seconds he didn’t realize he was being touched. That fact didn’t calm him down a lot either, admittedly, until he figured out he was being lifted up. He stopped flailing so much after, but he didn’t get so much as a glance at his savior before Abbacchio swam over and carried him back onto the boat.

Abbacchio dumped him onto the back deck quite unceremoniously. He was already losing consciousness as a result of water inhalation, and he blacked out. As Abbacchio tried to revive him and the others came to see what all the fuss was about, they were all too preoccupied to notice the relatively minor issue of his book being lost to the sea.

The fish creature was still in the water- because of course, it wasn’t like he could leave or anything- when he noticed the book floating nearby. He swam over and picked it up, not even stopping to look at the cover. He did his best to stay even  _ somewhat _ hidden as he placed the book on the edge of the deck and slid it over to Fugo’s unconscious body.

Unfortunately, Narancia had noticed him. It’s kind of hard to keep your hand discreet when it’s covered in rings, after all. He didn’t really recognize how weird this situation was at first, just taking the book and mumbling his thanks as he placed it down somewhere it wouldn’t fall off the back of the boat. Then it dawned on him and his head snapped back toward the creature, eyes wide. 

“Hey-!” Narancia shouted, having no sense of volume control. “He’s- Who’s this fish guy?!”

The fish guy in question became visibly freaked out, his orange eyes going wide and his purple-tinged fins flattening against his head as he tried to disappear under the water once again.

“Hey, wait!” Narancia reached over and grabbed his hand, but like not in a gay way or anyfin. “Who are you?! Why’re you a fish?!”

Well, the fish guy wasn’t going to put up with this blatant racism.

“Why are you a little shit?,” he snarled. 

“Hey! I’m not a  _ little  _ shit, I’m eighteen!” Narancia argued.

That’s when Bruno decided enough was enough and told Narancia to please go elsewhere on the yacht, along with Mista and Giorno and Abbacchio since this back deck was getting a bit crowded. He looked down at the fish. “I apologize for Narancia. Who might you be?”

The fish was now holding onto the edge of the deck, taking a quick glance at Bruno before looking away. “Doesn’t matter,” he grumbled. “Is your friend okay?” 

“He’ll get better,” Bruno said, pulling Fugo’s head into his lap and running a hand through his long white hair. “You saved him, didn’t you? I thought I saw something pulling him to the surface.”  
“I tried. Seems like someone else did most of the savin’, though.” 

“You still helped. I’m grateful.”

The fish guy took one last glance at Fugo. He couldn’t help but notice how pretty he looked in the sunlight. Then, without another word, he slipped back into the water and swam away. 


	2. Eridan: Tell Feferi about your day.

caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC]

CA: fef oh my god

CA: somethin really wweird happened today

CC: Yea)(? W)(at was it?   
CA: okay so

CA: you cant get mad at me

CA: but i wwent ovver to the docks today

CC: AR-E YOU KIDDING ME??

CC: -Eridan you could )(ave died!

CA: yeah i knoww i get it i shouldnt havve gotten as close as i did

CA: but you gotta listen to me it wwas really cool and romantic kinda

CC: Romantic?

CA: yeah just let me get to the fuckin good part wwill you

CC: Okay, okay. I’m listening! 380

CA: okay thanks

CA: basically

CA: there wwere these human guys and they wwere like borrowwin a boat or somethin it wwas hard to hear wwhat they wwere sayin

CA: and of course i wwas intrigued so wwhen they got in the boat i followwed it

CC: Okay )(ang on a second.

CC: You saw )(UMANS

CC: and you FOLLOWED T)(-EM?

CA: yeah wwhat else wwas i supposed to do

CC: ARG)( you are so dense sometimes!

CC: Someday they’re gonna see you and you’re gonna get yourself CULL-ED!

CC: But please continue, I’m also intrigued 38)

CA: the boat stopped in the middle a nowwhere and the guys looked like they wwere havvin a pretty good time

CA: so i wwas kind of swwimmin around it and wwatchin

CA: and then one of the younger guys pushes his buddy off of the boat

CA: and get this

CA: he doesn’t fuckin knoww howw to swwim

CA: so i wwas sittin there like wwhat the FUCK am i supposed to do about this

CA: and this poor guy is about to fuckin drowwn if i dont do somethin

CA: so i grabbed him and tried draggin him up to the surface

CA: then one a the older guys on the boat jumped in and did most a the savvin for me and i wwas like oh THANK COD

CA: i had no fuckin idea wwhat to do fef

CC: Well t)(at was very noble of you!! 38D

CC: But you stilll s)(ouldn’t )(have gotten t)(at close to them.

CA: i knoww but it gets better

CA: the little shit that pushed the guy into the wwater saww me

CC: You )(ave got to be kidding me.

CA: no no wwait its okay

CA: there wwas another one that wwas kinda the parent figure from wwhat i gathered

CA: and he started talkin to me wwhile drowwnin guy wwas passed out and he didnt seem too wweirded out

CA: he wwas actually pretty nice

CA: so thats a good sign right

CC: No it is NOT!! 38(

CC: -Eridan you know w)(y trolls are not supposed to get too close to humans.

CA: yeah they’ll lose their shit cause they havve tiny brains that cant comprehend any life form that looks evven somewwhat abnormal

CC: Uh… s)(ore, I guess.

CC: But anyways

CC: All I’m trying to say is t)(at you really s)(ouldn’t go back th)(ere.

CC: I just want you to be safe 38(

CA: ok but wwhat if i wwanna see the drowwnin guy again

CC: W)(y would you want to do t)(at???

CA: i dunno

CA: he wwas kinda cute and wwho knowws maybe he’ll be back there sometime soon

CA: to thank his savvior or somethin

CC: You t)(ink so?

CA: yeah maybe

CA: i dunno fef dont judge me

CA: id just really like to see him again

CC: Well… I t)(ink you’re diving a little too deep into t)(his.

CC: I’m not saying )(umans and trolls can’t be toget)(er… just look at Kanaya and Rose!

CC: But )(e is most likely not as used to our kind as Rose is.

CC: Besides, )(e doesn’t even know your NAM-E!

CA: ouch

CC: And if )(e almost drowned… I dunno )(ow likely it is t)(at )(e’ll be back near the water anytime soon

CA: another ouch

CC: )(e)(e sorry

CC: I’m just being realistic )(ere!! 

CC: I’m sorry, -Eridan. 

CC: But I’m R-EALLY )(appy t)(at you finally met some new people!! 

CA: yeah its wwhatevver

CA: i guess youre right again

CA: later fef

caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC]

CC: 38(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was written entirely by Eliza, I take no credit for it. ^-^


End file.
